Malam linangan Air mata..~ (Luahan Hati)

Rintik2 air hujan di jendelaku. Aku melihat rintik2 itu jatuh menjadi lopak kecil di atas tanah. Aku mendongak melhat awan yang satu lagi sedang menangis dan hatiku menjadi sebak, merindui yang di sayangi. Satu masih kabur2 mengenai perasaanku terhadapnya dan perasaanya terhadapku, dan satu lagi yang x mungkin kembali lagi~ 

Tersentuh jiwa kewanitaanku saat air mata menitis mengenangkannya. Baruku sedar yang aku juga seorang wanita yg punya perasaan. ku hulur tanganku seolah menghantar syg n rinduku pada mereka, walau tanganku di basahi hujan,walau air mataku mengalir bak sungai, x henti meluahkan lara di hati,namun demi mereka, aku sanggup. kasih sygku xde belah bahaginye pd mereka. 

Tapiku sedar, semunya terserah pada Ilahi. Aku hanya mampu menadah tangan dan bersujud kepadaNYA agar memberiku ketabahan untuk hidup sebagai khalifahnya di muka bumi ini.. Ku sedar realiti bukan seperti ap yg ku tulis d dalam novel2ku, itu hanya impian dan secebis realiti dan impian seorang perempuan dan ap yg dilihat di sekelilingye.  

*Mak, ana doakan mak tenang di sana, bahagia di sisiNya setelah menderita selama 14 tahun. Segala yg di tunjuk ajar oleh mak akan ana lakukan dgn sebaiknya. Amanah mak akan ana pegang sampi bila2. Ana akn jaga abah and Pipah sebaiknya smpi sume sihat2 belaka... 

Ana ingt lagi kata2 terakhir yg buat ana linang air mata ble ana dgr.. "Saranghae, my daughters.." Walau sebut x set erer kitorang tetapi itulah yg dirindui oleh kami smpi ble2. Masakan, lawak jenaka, Mak kitorang berbeza dgn mak orang len, mesra, dan kami bukan sahaja ad hubungan sbgi anak beranak ttp juga kawan baik yg sentiasa ada disisi kami dan menerima kami seadanya. MoM, THERE'S NO NE LIKE YOU and NO ONE CAN REPLACE YOU. U ARE OUR ETERNAL BEST FRIENDS.. From the day we first see the world until the last day you saw the world, every second of it were priceless to us. We will pray for ur safety there and we will always love you, Mom, Omma, Mama.. Saranghae, Sayang, Love you~

"Sayang, I doakan u hidup bahagia dengan keluarga dan rakan2 yg len. I paham u nk kejar cita2 sebelum cinta dan I tau u bukanlah seperti apa yang orang lain lihat.I tau kita dah x rapat macam dulu kerana I xnk u rasa sesak dan rimas dengan usikan sesapa..


I rasa pun i x lyk panggil u syg samada gurau atau sebenarnya. I nk u tau yg I x prnh lpe sekalipun apa yg pnh u bgtau kat I dan i masih simpan rahsia dan janji kita* x tau u ingat ke tak.hehe.. I pun nk u tau, i x kesah ble u change style, i cume rasa u len sket(sgt~) haritu. I am sorry lama x tegur u, bukan sebab i x mesra ttp i dpt rasa u x selesa dan i tau sume slh i sbb i bgtau u dan buat u rasa x selesa. I paham jika u ad orang yg u suke selain I, maaf jika korang ad masalah sbb I. 

Kwn atau Cinta, I masih sygkn U, lama atau baru, Stylish atau tidak, Photogenic atau tidak, :)

*Memories are sometimes fade away but moments alwats remains in out deepest heart if u only appreciate every beat and second of it..*

Cold blast through my heart

 What up diary?
 I know.. i know.. I havent been updating for awhile.. I know.. That's just because i was too damn busy about the life.. U know this college life ain't that easy u ol' coop~!

Anyway, skip that rumbling, mumbling mumbo jumbo and let's get to main topic here. So today after about 2 weeks of holiday, i went to college. I was going to help my senpai, Kush to collect the money for out T-Shirt that he ordered for our group. Why am i the one who is collecting and not my senpai himself? Well, he got..um.. abit..of..um..bowel problems... Enough said~

 So i was doing a favor for him. But that damn ass traffic jam kept me on the road for almost an half an hour. While in the restaurant. Kak sal called and said our mentor wanted all the President's list student to come to the college and get our presents.. This eventually sets the bad mood made by the traffic jam after that a bit of relief..

Any way, while waiting for the stupid traffic jam to be over, Wanie called and told me that she is already at the college. SO when i arrived , I called her and she sadi she was in the Account Department.. When i went there, i saw a bunch of people actually went in and made the place very crowded. Start of a new sem, gotta understand that~~

So after waiting about an hour, Wanie and I went out and heading to Nadia's hostel which is located on the second floor of the B block. She was just about to take a bath when we get there.We waited and we went down together..

When I am about to went down the stairs, I came across Kak Huda, who is Faiz's neighbour.

"Hi, Kak Huda.." She looked up and smile

"Hi, hana.."

"Tunggu Nadia nk gi jumpe chef.." I said to her

"Oh.. Faiz ada kat bwh. Akak bru je jumpe dia tadi.." She said that with a smile and somehow a glint in her eyes...

Chamkanman~~(Wait..)

I did not remember asking about him...? How..
How on earth?

I was weirded out by her sudden information, not that i don't like her saying that but it just makes it weird..Like why did she suddenly said that he is downstairs as soon as I saw her?
Am i reminded about him every time she saw me? Whoa~ Freaky~

But when we came down, we did not encounter Faiz at all..weird..

Then we all was on our way  to Admin's office to get the add drop subject when we come across Ayie and her sister..

"Whoa.. Ak x knl dia dowh~ Len giler muke ko~.." She said..
Maybe becoz i was wearing a, Aegyo glasses? haha..

Just after Ayie asked where is Kak sal, My phone rang and i saw Kak sal's caller ID on the screen..

"Hello.. kak sal. Kak sal dh smpi?"

"Dh.. Ana kat mana?"

"Ana tgh nk temankan Nadia gi Admin, amik borang Add Drop.. Nape?"

"Kak sal kat office n.. Cepatlah.."

"Okay.."

I excused myself and went running like a thunder to the office, knowing that she must've been waiting long for me...

I got a lot of weird looks at me as if i was wearing something awful or as if i am an alien, but i ignore it and went up to the second floor.

The minute, i step out from the door and was walking towards the office, i heard Kak sal's voice calling me..

I turned around and i saw Kak sal with her husband, her son and Faiz.

I lean my back at the wall and catch up my breath..

"Nadia amik borang add drop? "

"Haah.." I said while huffling my breath..

"Pi kat office.." I nodded and went to the office without taking glances at Faiz who was just standing across me..

"I went there and got the prize.. it was a mere present from vietnam., nothing fancy like last year~

I took it and went for the door..

I opened the door and let it open just to catch my breath.. Man i need to exercise frequently now~

I let go of the door and went walking back at Kak Sal..\

Just when we about to leave, we saw Wanie and Nadia.

We walk down together..

Then Faiz starts to talk about the movie that he watched, Snow White and The Huntsmen..
About how great it was..
bla bla bla..

He is such a talker now.. Blabbing all the time..

Then when on the stairs, he was right behind me..

In front of me was Kak sal's husband beside him is Kak sal, infront of them is their son, beside me is Wanie and behind was Nadia and Zana.. Then, zana says something that makes me weirded out too..

"Faiz, ko pegi tgk wayang x ajak aku~ Ak tgk gmbr memule ak ingt ko dgn AWEK ko~~"

Yup, she sorta stress out the Capital words..

"Ape zana? Awek aku? Awek aku??"

Did he have to repeat it twice? Geez..

"uih... Artis tu~" I decided to ignore n pretended tht i did not hear what they said..

Then, while waiting for Kush senpai, i saw that Faiz was poking his bag open and Kak sal looked at it as well.. I was suspicious but i look away as soon i saw his head moving..

 I did not look into his eyes nor his face..

Then we all went to Rafflesia to eat after Kush senpai arrived. Faiz dissapeared when we were at the STDN shop... lingering somewhere maybe??

Then, we all settle down. I was sitting across Gusha Senpai, beside me is Nadia, In front of her is Zana.
Then my phone rang
Faiz's caller ID ...

I pick up.

"Hello?"
"Ko katne? watpe?
"Makan ... Kat Rafflesia..." I heard some noises at the back~ like a pasar or somethibg~

"Hah?" He did not hear..

"Kush ad tak? ada kat situ tak?"

"Ada.. Kush ada kat sini..." I said it clearly

"Ah?? apa?" He said asif he was a deaf man or something//

"Kitorang kat Rafflesia, mkn.. Kush pun ada sekali, sayanng~ Datng ler sini kalo nk jmpe kush , syg oi~~"

Ah~ there goes my lovey doveycalling

"Ah..ah.. okay.. jap gi.. ak smpi..' He stuttered.. I smirked when i hang up the phone

Senpai was smirking at me when i said that Faiz just called.. hahahha..

Then, Solihin came with Faiz.. Solihin sat beside nadia and faiz sat beside zana.. Typical~

 i keep on talking so does others.. Talks about various stuffs.. Then we talk about movies on the cinema and stuff.. Solihin said something about college, i looked over to hear wht he is talking about.

I could notice from the corner of my eyes, he was looking at me.. But when Solihin finished talking i looked back atsenpai and we both laughed again~~about various stuffs...

WHen i was talking about movies and the t-shirt, once in a while my eyes would want to looka t him but everytime i wanna do it, i could feel like a piercing gaze from the corner of my eyes.. Little that I know, that piercing gaze was his..

I was pretended tht i ignore him when actually my heart told me to smil n looked at him~ But, i restrained my self to avoid looking like a bimbo or a desperate soul~

I think that's it...

This is part one of tiday's history.. More about me and him in the next post~~

See ya~~~~~~~~~~