Lots of assignment.. Lists of stress in my life is getting bigger and bigger..
Oh.. I really wish there is such things as fairy god father or even magic like Harry Potter.. Then, maybe my life will be much more organized and will be less stressful than now.
Why is it that every best friends that i have and compiled my trust inside for her always runs away?
Is it my fault?
Am I really a very boring person to be friends with?
People said third time the charm..
So i opened my heart for the third time for a friend..
And that third time.. The same event happened to me..
Wae?
What did i do wrong?
Was i not caring?
Was i not willing to sacrifice?
Was i that dull and boring to be around?
Or was i.. not worthy to have a place beside people i called friend?
I was sooo.. Sad..
The weird thing is.. If someone like your friends have tricked you and made you feels horrible, you tends to hate the with all your heart right?
I am mad.. Mad at my friend that i trust this moment.. This certain girl.. I thought she saw right through me..
Who i am..
What i have been suffering..
The sadness being cooped up inside my self.. searching for that certain person called 'true friend"..
But sadly.. She is not who i think she is..
Ah~ the dissapointment that i felt for the third time... I hate it!
Not only to her but to Myself..!
I can't hate her as much as some people out there tht will hate their friends if they betrays them..
I will be sorry for her as i know that she still did not find theright path of her life..
I am a stupid person when i let her do anything to me as i did with my past best friends..
Maybe that's why they all were boring of me..
And eventually they dumped me..
Not on the spot..
But their actions..
Slowly drfting away from me..
Avoiding me when i need help..
Even like tha, i still could not hate her and despise her..
I don't know what is wrong with me..
I cannot went with the way she live her live to strengthens our friendship..
I rather be myself..
But i can't lose her..
I have been losing my best friends in the past..
Is it dejavu all over again?
Oh...
The agony of waiting for a real friends..
Not that the friends i had now was useless or be friends with me carelessly.. No..
But i am mainly talking about a certain person..
I have been giving her hints about this problems to her..
But she..still do not get it.. Still..
I know i had to move on..
I have to not let this thing get into the real reason i am at PTPL college..
It is to learn..
But i wish someday..
I will find that friends..
That will stick to me as best friends,
Through thick and thin.
Happy, sadness and anger,
An \d we both accept and understand each other..
Well.. That's all for tonight.. I am glad i let that out.. I really hope i can sort this thing out with her soon..
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